after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
