he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize