so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My life is pants optional.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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