where am i from again
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
