he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
