girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize