Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
