I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
only you would photoshop your dick
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
