i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
