No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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