There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
