Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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