so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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