I'm gonna have a badass scar
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
