What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
