Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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