Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
