why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
