Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
