Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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