At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
