Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
