return my video game
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
