how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize