either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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