I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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