At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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