I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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