Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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