you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
