do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
