Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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