We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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