Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
