i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
