Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
