that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
