Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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