bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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