My brain says no but my pants say off.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
