well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
