I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
