He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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