Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
