Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
