we made out on top of his cat.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
