remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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