escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
