so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
