You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
