someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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