he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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