Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
