My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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