I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
