Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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