I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
