If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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