The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
